Forever Outcast Excerpts

ONE
“We’re losing her! Her heart rate is dropping! We have to get this baby out
now!” The doctors scream.
“She’s in distress, her heart rate is continuing to drop doctor!”
“Ok Ms. Jones, we need you to push this baby out, we have no time!” The
doctor instructs my mother as she begins to panic.
“I can’t push anymore! I’m trying but I can’t!”
“Doctor, the baby is losing oxygen, every second is critical! Push Ms. Jones,
you have to push this baby out!”
“AAAWWWW!” My mother screams as she pushes with everything she has.
“That’s it, she’s coming keeping pushing! Keep pushing! Don’t stop!”
“AAAWWWW!” It hurts! It hurts! AAAWWWW!”
“There she is! She’s out!”
I came into this world fighting. A beautiful baby girl, Katelyn, would be my
name. Entering this world with straight jet-black hair and an umbilical cord
wrapped around my neck. Already, coming out of the pussy I was fighting to
breathe.
“Ms. Jones, we got the cord from around your daughter’s neck, and she’s
doing fine. She’s in the incubator and you’ll be able to see her shortly.” The
doctor said.
“Momma, I don’t know what I would’ve done if she would’ve died. I was so
scared I was going to lose her.” Mommy said.
My granny gives my mother a loving look, as she feeds me my first meal.
“Debra, she is so beautiful baby, you did good with her. Look at that
beautiful baby face.” She said while stroking my face. “I am so proud of you.
She’s here and she’s fine, so we don’t have to worry about what if now.”
Granny said.
My mother is relieved that I made it. It’s funny the love most mothers seem to
have for their child when they’re brand new. As they continue cooing over
me, one of Mommy’s friend’s walks in.

TWO
“Hello Mrs. Jones, how are you?” Granny smiles at Lee, as his grin turns into
an enormous smile. He looks over at my beautiful mother, as she sits in her
hospital bed holding me. My mother smiles with pride as she holds this
gorgeous piece of heaven she has in her arms.
“Hey Deb.” He gives Mommy a quick kiss on her mouth, right in front of
granny. Mommy’s eyes are as wide as the sun. Lee caught her by surprise.
She looks at granny in shock. She can’t believe that Lee came to the
hospital. She looks at the fine caramel man standing before her, and can’t
help but to display an inviting smile before reality pulls her back in.
“What are you doing here, Lee? How did you find out I was in the hospital?”
Mommy curiously asked.
He looks at her as if she’s the prettiest woman he’s ever seen. He continues
to smile at her, while he lustfully gazes into her beautiful face. “Connie told
me when I saw her this morning. And I just had to see you and that beautiful
baby girl you’re holding. She is so beautiful Debra. Damn look at her hair,
she looks like a little princess.” Lee smiles as he touches my little hands and
gently rubs my shiny black hair.
Mommy nervously looks at Lee. The blood rushes to her face as she swaps
looks from granny, then back to Lee. “Lee, you can’t be here, you have to
leave.” Mommy says as she begins to cry.
Lee kisses me on my head and takes one last look. As he heads toward the
door, he turns, stops, and looks at Mommy once more. “I’m coming back to
see you both, Debra.” He says as he walks out the room.
Granny looks at Mommy in utter amazement as she tries to compose herself.
Gently, she adjusts my covers and slides her fingers over my slick hair. She
smiles at granny, while displaying troubled eyes.
“Debra, are you ok baby? What’s wrong?” Granny asked.
“Yea ma, I’m fine. It’s just my hormones kicking in. Lee shocked me when he
kissed me on my lips. He just caught me off guard. I wouldn’t want Wallace
to come in and see that. I would hate to have to explain why some other man
is kissing me. You

THREE
know how Wallace is. And with my hormones racing all over the place, I
wouldn’t be able to handle that.”
Granny looks at Mommy and smirks. “Yea, we all know how crazy Wallace
can get.” Granny twists her lips. “ Yea, I
know."
“Aaww Mama, I’m just saying I wouldn’t want to deal with that right now. I’m
too emotional, and my hormones are running wild. I would be a basket case.”
“I know. But, you know how hormones work after having a baby. We have
absolutely no control after childbirth. Once that baby pops out, our bodies
are driving us around, telling us where to go and how to feel. You’ll be just
fine once it passes, hopefully.” Granny looks at mommy with a loving smile,
as she comes over and gently takes me in her arms and sings me to sleep.

One month later, I’m back in the hospital fighting once again to live. This
time, it would be the greatest fight of my young life, Pneumonia. I was a
newborn baby fighting the dreaded Pneumonia. My fragile tiny body was
fighting to stay alive. Had I known then, what I know now, I probably wouldn’t
have fought so hard. I would’ve closed my exhausted eyes and stopped
breathing. Getting back to Heaven would’ve been my only concern. At one
month old my mother, being young, immature, and in love with her husband
at the tender age of 21, took me out into the blistering winter rain to a party,
so she could follow behind my Daddy, Wallace. It’s strange the things a
woman will do to keep her man. There is no risk too serious to keep that
man in her life, even if it means risking the life of her newborn child. My
Daddy Wallace was a very handsome man. He was a tall light brown man
with light brown eyes to match. He had the smile of a true Mack, with perfect
pearly white teeth.   He was a slick smooth talker; he had the gift of gab. He
was that guy that could make any woman smile at any given moment. You
know that type of guy that can come up to you, even when you’re fuming, red
hot, pissed at the world. He’ll lean close to you, while mesmerizing you with
his eyes. Then he’ll slowly, smoothly licks his lips and says something like
“Don’t let’em steal your sunshine beautiful.” And make you want to cum on
the spot, because he’s

FOUR
smooth with his shit. He smells so good, you want to jump inside of his skin
and become one with him. He’s so fine, and looks so nice in his clothes, that
he’ll make you look bad on your “best” day. He’ll make you think twice about
how “good” you know you look. We’ve all been exposed to that guy. He has
the charm to woo you, and the ability to “screw” you, and he usually does.
My Daddy’s family was deep into the drug scene. And at that time to have
access to drugs made you “The Man” before the hood boys took over. He
had money, cars, all of the essentials he needed to get any woman he
wanted. He possessed every quality a lot of women would want in a man.
And all of the women wanted him. How could you not? A young woman at
that age, with a man like that was considered “The Shit!” And when a young
woman is considered to be “The Shit” it gives her power. Power to do or
have whom or whatever she wanted.
My mother was an exceptionally beautiful woman. She was caramel brown
with straight jet -black hair to her ass, and a perfect smile to match her
beautiful face. She had a body that a coke bottle would envy. She was
FINE! And she belonged to him. She was his property, and everybody knew
it. Who would dare to look at his fine ass woman? When they stepped out
together, they made others feel shame about themselves. They were young,
fine, quick, and had money. Nothing was unattainable. My Daddy kept my
beautiful mother in furs, cars, and beautiful homes. All the luxuries a young
woman could ask for. But the one thing that he kept her in the most, were
black eyes. He would beat the shit out of her every chance he got. He would
give her black eyes and broken bones whenever the wind would blow. He
would beat her until she was shame to show her beautiful face in public. He
beat her with anything he got his hands on. Wired hangers, guns, telephone
receivers, potty chairs, and only the Lord knows what else. If he could pick
up the car, he would have beat her with that to.   He would beat her so bad,
that it would be so much blood splatter on the walls that it looked like
decoration. Walking through our house after one of their fights felt like
walking through a brutal murder scene.   He would beat my mother, while my
sister Mona and I would watch.